ڊارون جي خواهش جي فهرست: ڇا اسان کي ڪوشش ڪرڻ گهرجي

Nobody lives forever. This is a sad fact, but what to do, this is how the world works. I have lost three good friends in the last year. People who were in their prime. Each of them, in his own way, gave to others more than they could give him in return. The death of a friend has an interesting effect. It makes you think about your own life:

• Am I putting enough effort into raising the next generation?
• Am I doing something to improve the life of the community around me?
• What goals should I prioritize in order to develop further?
• Am I living my best life?
• Is there something I definitely want to achieve before it’s too late?
• Do I even have a list of what I need to do in life? And if so, what should be in it?

Happiness and money are overrated

Life goal lists usually include items that, if fulfilled, will make us incredibly happy or allow us to experience other strong positive emotions — excitement, excitement, high. For example, the goal is to make a parachute jump. Visit Paris. Attend a concert by The Rolling Stones. Of course, these are all pretty cute and funny wishes. I myself have achieved a couple of similar goals.

But the human mind is the result of evolutionary processes, the main of which is natural selection. And our emotional system was hardly designed to find a stable balance based on a certain set of experiences. Happiness is great, but that’s not the point. From an evolutionary perspective, happiness is a state of affect that signals success factors in matters of survival and reproduction. It is not a key element of life.

Much less pleasant emotional states, such as anxiety, anger, and sadness, are more important to us from an evolutionary point of view. With money, the story is similar. Of course, it would be great to say that you have made millions of dollars. Money can be used in any way, there is no doubt about it. But in empirical research on this topic, wealth and life satisfaction are not strongly correlated.

For that matter, the relative amount of money has more to do with life satisfaction than the absolute amount. When it comes to life goals, money is very similar to happiness: it is better to have it than not to have it. But this is hardly the main goal.

Evolutionary Wish List

Darwin’s ideas about the origin and essence of life are, to put it mildly, very convincing. And they matter to the understanding of all human experience. So here is a short list of important life goals, compiled with an evolutionary approach in mind:

1. Make amends and reconnect

One of the greatest lessons of modern evolutionary behavioral sciences has to do with the fact that the human psyche and mind are shaped to live in a relatively small community. This circumstance has serious consequences for social psychology. As a rule, we function better in small groups, we know all the important participants there — compared to large groups, where everyone is anonymous and faceless.

So, if your social group is only 150 people, even a few broken relationships can lead to consequences that affect survival. A recent study in my lab showed that the accumulation of a lot of strife, disunity leads to negative social and emotional consequences for us. Such people are distinguished by an anxious attachment style, resistance to social support and emotional instability.

Although alienation between people is not uncommon, from an evolutionary standpoint, the strategy of excluding others from one’s life must be treated with great caution. If you have acquaintances with whom you broke off relations, it may be time to fix it. Remember how fleeting life is.

2. «Pay in advance»

Humans have historically evolved in small social groups where mutual altruism has been a fundamental principle of behavior. We help others in the hope of getting help in return. Over time, through this principle, we have developed strong social bonds of affection and friendship with other members of the community. In this context, it is very beneficial to develop the qualities of an altruist. A person with a reputation as an assistant is more trusted by others and more willing to introduce him into narrower circles of communication.

In addition, altruism is favorable for the development of the community as a whole. Those who spend their time and energy helping others more than is customary are highly valued and seen as true leaders in the community. As a result, not only they themselves receive dividends, but also their immediate environment — their family, their friends. Paying upfront benefits everyone. Thinking about what to add to your life plan? Find a way to do something useful for your community. Just.

3. Surpass yourself

Understanding how fleeting and transient our time here is, it is important to think about how to surpass yourself, leaving a good start for future generations. There are different ways to make your life meaningful beyond the allotted time. In a strictly biological sense, having and raising children as active citizens is one way to transcend yourself as a person. But given our unique nature, there are other ways to leave a positive mark.

Think about how you can help future generations. With what actions, deeds, you could make life in the community more spiritual and meaningful. What are you willing to do to help people with different views unite in pursuit of one goal and work together for the common good. Man, as you know, is a collective being.

Our experience shows that we get the greatest satisfaction from things that do not have a monetary value. The greatest benefit is from everything that is connected with a positive impact on others.

ذريعو: psychologytoday.com